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How should I tell my kids about my divorce? I have an 11yo daughter and a 5yo son. I need you advise because I would never want my kids to suffer from something like this.
If possible, you and your soon-to-be-ex-spouse should have a conversation concerning when you want to tell the kids as well as what you plan to tell them. You may even consider having the conversation with them together, presenting a united front—as this can help reinforce that you are still a family. Even if you cannot have a conversation with them together, discussing what you plan to share is important.
When you have the conversation with your child, you should:
There’s no exact answer to how much or how little you should share with your children concerning your divorce. In planning how and what you will share, you should be age aware. Your child’s development age and maturity level can impact how much information and detail they can handle.
Telling kids about divorce or separation is a difficult conversation, but an essential one that shouldn't be delayed. Kids are smart, and may very well sense the tension at home, so it's important for mom and dad to address their concerns as soon as possible. I recommend that couples going through a divorce with kids first create a plan as to how and when to break the news and tell the children about their divorce. Ideally, the conversation should happen in person, with both parents and all children present.
Divorcing parents should also anticipate any questions their kids may have and how to answer them. Children may need some time to process the news, so make sure to let them know that they can talk to either parent whenever they need to. If your young child is having trouble coping with the divorce, a therapist can help them develop tools to work through their feelings during this difficult time.
How to Tell Children About Divorce:
"If you're a couple divorcing with young kids, you should prepare a narrative that you and your spouse can agree on and present this to your children together. Throughout the discussion, remind your children that although you and your spouse will no longer be husband and wife, you will always be their mom and dad.
Helping Kids with Divorce During the Process:
Prepare them for the potential of what is to come, reminding them all along the way that they will always be taken care of. Avoid bad-mouthing your partner and encourage your children to be open with both of you about questions or concerns.
Helping Kids Deal with Divorce After the Process:
Encourage them to discuss new traditions they might want to have that are unique to this new chapter in their lives and parent-child relationships. Remind them of routines that will stay the same so that your children can still feel they live in a structured, predictable environment.
I'm sorry to hear about your situation. Divorce can be difficult for children, but with sensitivity and care, it's possible to help them through this difficult time. Here are a few things to keep in mind as you talk to your children about your divorce:
1. Keep the conversation age-appropriate: Your children are at different developmental stages, so it's important to tailor the conversation to their individual needs. Your 11-year-old daughter may be able to handle more information than your 5-year-old son.
2.Reassure your children that they are loved: It's important to let your children know that the divorce is not their fault, and that both parents will continue to love and care for them.
3.Answer their questions: Children may have many questions about the divorce, and it's important to answer them honestly and in a way that they can understand. Avoid placing blame on either parent, and focus on the fact that the divorce is a grown-up decision that has nothing to do with the children.
4.Keep the conversation open: Let your children know that they can come to you with any questions or concerns they have. Encourage them to express their feelings, and be prepared to listen without judgment.
5.Seek support: Divorce can be tough for children, and it's important to provide them with the support they need. Consider seeking the help of a therapist or counselor who can work with your children to help them cope with the divorce.
I hope this helps. Please don't hesitate to reach out if you have any other questions.
How should I tell my kids about my divorce?
When talking to your children about your divorce, it is important to approach the conversation with caution.
Start by expressing your love for them and that you will always be there for them.
Explain that the divorce is not their fault and that you and your partner have decided to separate.
Let them know that you understand that it may be difficult for them to understand, but you are both still their parents and will always be there for them.
Reassure them that you both still love them and will continue to be a part of their lives.
Explain that you will both still be involved in their lives and that you will both be there to support them.
Lastly, let them know that it is okay to feel sad and that you are there to talk to them if they need it.
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